No, We Don't Eat That!

Sweet baby Jesus this potty training stuff is absurd. How do you get a kid to go to the toilet when he doesn't care that his pants are full of poop? Yesterday my sweet boy was just playing away with his trucks when suddenly his eyes widened, he squatted and grabbed his tush and waddled off to a corner to do his business in private. But when I asked him if he had to "poo poo" what did he say? "N... N... Nnno!" Well, he didn't really "say" it so much as he grunted. It's hard to talk when you're trying to poop, ya know.

I am a damn good mother, but for all my awesomeness I do not know how to teach a kid to pee standing up. My poor baby is going to be that kid in school who always uses the stall because his single mom got tired of cleaning the bathroom every day and made him sit to pee. Consider it payback for having to cross my legs when I sneeze now, ya big-headed kid.