Is there anything more empowering than a child hopping with excitement at the sight of you? I hate going to work and leaving my boy. Yes, he's with family and he loves to stay and play with his cousin and aunt, but it kills me to be away from him. Always has. Sometimes in the middle of the night I go into his room just to look at him - I can't believe this beautiful thing is mine! And when I come pick him up after work, he gets so excited it makes me want to go outside and do it again.
In all of this - the anger, the stress, the sleepless nights - I have my son. And it's hard to hate someone when they are half of the thing you love the most, so I'm going to try to stop being so angry at my ex-husband. It won't be easy to bite my tongue when I feel like telling him to go fornicate with a gardening tool but I can't be a bitter old witch for the rest of my life. Whoever said I'm stuck with my son's father til he's 18 is wrong anyway. There will be college graduation (or bootcamp graduation), a wedding (hopefully just one), grandchildren... No matter how angry I want to be, I have to realize that for every major event in my son's life, his father will be half of it. And that's a long time to stay angry.
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