Me?

Why did you stay? I've heard that question a lot. My mom, my friends, my family, my poor therapist who earns every penny in our sessions. Why did you stay with a man who did nothing but destroy your credit and take you for granted? I'm a smart woman; they tell me I'm nice to look at; I can hold a conversation with people from all walks of life. And I'm a damn good wife, and a faithful one. So why did I stay?

The easiest answer is for the kids. I know people say that kids know when their parents are unhappy, that it's better to separate and be two happy families than one miserable one. And to an extent I agree with that. But I also believe that we owed it to those boys to do our damnedest to maintain their normal. I think every parent owes it to their child/children to make it work with their partner. If a child is born into a family with two parents they deserve to know that those parents did everything they could to keep it that way.

The deeper answer is that I stood in a church that was special to my husband and promised him I would. Promised him in front of our families, our friends, and his son that I would stick with him for better or worse. I promised him in front of God (and despite what my in-laws would have you believe, that does mean quite a lot to me) that I would not obey but honor and cherish. Though just a selfish kid at the time, those vows still meant something to me. I don't think anyone goes into a marriage thinking they'll just stick around until something newer and shiner comes along. Well, maybe some people do, but I didn't.

I'm rambling, I know. Thoughts run through my head at warp speed and my fingers don't move fast enough to get them all down. Plus the madre took the boy to see his great-grammy this weekend and I'm bored out of my skull.

But back to the point - I stayed because I said I would. He was my husband and the father of my children, and I promised him I would.

Anyway. James Bond marathon calls.